Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Day Game Workshop + The Voodoo Dildo Joke

"I’m a believer that connecting with a sober girl who looks good in the light is a wonderful thing." -Roosh V

The Voodoo Dildo Joke

There was once this married couple who loved each other very much, but due to the man's job he was gone for days... sometimes weeks at a time. He knew his wife was lonely and he wished that he could do something for her while he was gone.

One day, while walking down a street after one of his many business trips, he happened by a gypsy shop. While browsing through the old woman's shelves of potions and totems, he noticed a large dildo sitting in the back. He asked the old woman, "What is this dildo doing here?"

The old woman smiled. "That is no ordinary dildo. That is a voodoo dildo!"

The old woman explained to the man that the dildo was possessed by the spirit of a legendary lover and told him that the dildo would obey any sexual command that was said to it.

The man thought it would be the perfect gift for his lonely wife and purchased it. The gypsy wrote down the instructions for the voodoo dildo on a card and the man took it home with him.

When the man got home, he waiting until he was about to go on another trip before presenting his wife with his present. He explained what it was and showed her the card about how to use it. He kissed her good-bye and left knowing that his wife would be taken care of while he was gone.

After a day or two, the wife was very lonely and decided to give the gift a try. She undressed, took the voodoo dildo out of its box, and looked at the card. She then said the magic words... "Voodoo Dildo my pussy!"

The Voodoo Dildo went to work and pleasured the woman for hours and hours. After a while, she couldn't take anymore and reached for the instruction card to see how to get her present to stop. In her haste, however, she knocked the card off the bed and it drifted into the fireplace. The woman watched in horror as the card burned to ashes.

The woman tried several commands: "Stop! Cease! Quit! Abort!" but nothing would stop the voodoo dildo. Thankfully, the address of the gypsy woman was on the box the dildo had come in and, after throwing on some clothing, the woman got in the car and sped away.

She was a few miles down the highway when she was pulled over by a highway patrol officer. She sat uncomfortably as the arrogant and self-important officer told her that he pulled her over for speeding. The officer asked her why she was going so fast.

The woman explained the entire story to the officer trying to convey the urgency of her situation. The officer rolled his eyes at the fantastic tale obviously not believing a word of it.

After the woman was finished, the officer took off his shades, looked her square in the eye, and said... "Voodoo Dildo my ass!"

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Music, Poetry, Sarah & Wasilla

My musical tastes are all over the place. While I tend to be a big softie who likes stuff like this:

The Beatles: Til There Was You
Skeeter Davis: The End of the World

I also like alternative rock, folk, bluegrass and '60's stuff:

Squeeze: Is That Love
Just Grass: Rose Conley (Down in the Willow Garden)
Kate Wolf: Legend in his Time
Kate Wolf: Medicine Wheel
The Grass Roots: Temptation Eyes
The Grass Roots: Midnight Confessions

One of the reasons I think Quentin Tarantino's movies have done so well is that - while he he has eclectic musical tastes like a lot of us - he apparently knows a wider range of really cool songs! His movie soundtracks are great:

Nancy Sinatra: My Baby Shot Me Down
Meiko Kaji: Flower of Carnage
Chingon: Malaguena Salerosa
Shivaree: Goodnight Moon

And you're right - this guy is very funny-
Cledus T. Judd: Bake Me A Country Ham

As to poetry, I've considered my "favorite poem" to be "Sunday Morning" by Wallace Stevens since college. I hadn't read it in a while - so I just re-read it. It is beautifully written ... but it's a little heavy!

Here's a blog I don't update often. But it's a good place to save (and double-check) links. Hmm - apparently this blogger is a Sarah Palin fan!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Material for SPIN Team Meeting on Sunday, December 7

To: SPIN Team - specifically: Savant Noir, Pamela Ann & Jennifer in Chicago

From: Charles of Sarah Palin for President 2012

Date: Sunday, December 7, 2008

Re: Items for the SPIN Team Meeting at 9pm Eastern Time on Sunday, December 7, 2008

Place of Meeting: Need to Find Out - Please E-Mail Me - Thanks

Here's the information I was to provide for tonight's SPIN Team meeting:

1. The special event applications for DC are available below.

See here and here.

I'm not sure which is the right form yet. We'd need to check with:

Metropolitan Police Department
Specials Activities Office
300 Indiana Ave., NW, 6th Floor
Washington, DC 20001

We'll need to know a proposed date, the proposed route, and the other information requested in the forms.

Their web site is here. Their frequently asked questions are here.

2. The schedule for the U.S. Senate is below.

The current calendar of the U.S. Senate is here.

It doesn't go past December 2008. The new Senate calendar won't be ready until the next Senate is convened.

When the next Senate will be convened is not clear from the website of the Secretary of the Senate.

In all likelihood, no schedule will be prepared until the Senate convenes and a new Majority Leader is chosen.

Friday, December 5, 2008

SPIN Meeting Invitation

I'll be in the chat room at Sarah Palin for President tonight at 8pm Eastern Time for the regularly scheduled chat.

At 9pm Eastern Time, I'll leave our group chat window up, but will open a separate window to chat in the meeting of the SPIN Team on PalTalk.

If you are on this e-mail, you are welcome to come with me to the SPIN Team meeting. (The meeting is run by Savant Noir. This is the meeting that Shari - correctly - says is a bit like "Dungeons and Dragons').

Everyone in the meeting is nice, though. Like a lot of people, the main speakers can be a tad over-serious at times, that's all. Anyway, if you go to the SPIN Team meeting, just keep a low profile and follow my lead. I basically just keep quiet and act dumb. This is my approach to most live situations.

To go to the SPIN Team meeting at 9pm Eastern Time tonight go here. The password is: sarah2012

You should go there at least 30 minutes early if it's your first time because there is PalTalk software to download. It's not too bad - but it'll take you a few minutes to do that and get set up (like Chatango - but with a bit more to do).